One can travel to many places, have many experiences. Travel
to the same place and relive those experiences but in a man’s life there is one
such experience that comes just once and the first time experience stays,
always.
It was somewhere in the month of august that our GP gave us
the great news. The news meant a lot of things, none of them worrisome. We were
warned that our free bird like life style is going to change, yet the news of a
new arrival could not dampen our joyful mood.
Heading to cinema every other weekend, Checking out different
restaurants, frequent shopping spree all had to go out the window. Not for
ever, but at least the initial few years.
It sounds like a major hit to the way me and my Mrs lived our three years
together here in Dublin. Life has to move on and having to share all what we
have learned and earned with our offspring was indeed a good direction to go
towards.
Broccoli and Brussels sprouts instead of making rare guest
appearances in our dinner menu, started being a regular. Either of them were not something we enjoyed,
but I had to force my good wife to have them. Pint glass full of Fresh fruit
juices and many more additions were made to the menu. Internet advises on what
to have and what not to have were contradictory, and the conclusions derived
from those site were again contradicting with the opinions from my mother and
my mother in law. So, what was right could just have been a guess.
Antenatal classes; that’s an interesting experience. We had
to go for six of them at the National Maternity Hospital. The so called NMH
website celebrity was our facilitator and she was the most cheerful person I
have ever known. In her late fifties she explained everything to the class in
comic way which just put us at ease. When I say, everything, I mean absolutely
everything that one had to know about having a baby. If that class was
conducted in a more “death by PowerPoint “fashion, I am sure many expecting
parents would have backed out of the whole process. That is because, the
complications and the challenges of this so called natural process of a female
human body can go extreme. SCARY! . The bump being to grow, Ashitha began to
walk slower and in an awkward manner. She gained weight by a whopping fourteen kilos. Weekly check-ups at the GP and
the Hospital was a great sense of assurance that everything was in order. One
does not want any surprises in this nine month. Everything by the book is
exactly what we needed.
We had the option to
know if we were going to have by or girl, but we took a decision to not know.
This is one Surprise that we wanted seconds after birth. Why stereotype girls
to pink and boys to blue. Secretly in both our hearts we wanted a girl. Since
the very first day Ashitha and I always referred to the person inside the bump
as a girl. We even, just listed names of girls, but not boys. As we drew closer
to the ninth month the bump was moving. It looked like something crawling from
underneath the skin. It made my skin crawl, but there is no denying that it
reminded me of the Aliens movie. In this case, it was not an Alien. We had the shopping list, and we had to keep
the standby luggage ready. The vests, socks, caps were all white and yellow. All Neutral colours.
April the 27th was the due date and given that My
Mrs and I were first time parents our confidence level was not that high. With
no family or relatives around my wife was a bit nervous. There is one rule
about a nervous pregnant woman. “Always put her at ease”. I request for my
mother in law and my sister to assist us in this highly anxious period. Sent
over the required documents and booked their tickets to fly over to Ireland. It
was a first time flying for my mother in law and first time to Dublin to my
sister. They arrived on 21st and it was a full house. A full house
has its own pros and cons. What mattered
the most was that my wife was very glad that her mother was around. I was glad
that my sister was around. Ashitha being
a very hospitable host with a full belly took them around to show the beach and
shopping center. That was exactly the
right excuse for the baby to come out.
On the 23rd the pains began. Thanks to the
classes I knew exactly what to look for. It has to five minute interval and
ninety second pain. But on the evening of 23rd it was fifteen minute
interval and forty second pain. Since the water hadn’t broke we went to the
hospital, a quick check up and Ashitha was surely entering labor. Since we
lived 5 minute drive from hospital we had to go back. It was almost like a rehearsal to how to get
to the hospital. Poor Ashitha did not sleep well and the pain only kept getting
sharper. There is nothing anyone else could do, but only be with her and
support her. By the time the clock hit eleven and at the fiftieth attempt of timing
Ashitha’s pain we finally hit the Five minute interval. It was show time!
In five minutes we got to the hospital, straight to the
labour room. The midwife checked and the update is, the baby is all set to come
out. Midwife broke the water and took us to the labour room. My sister and
mother in law were waiting at the room outside. Unlike India, here the spouse
or the mother must accompany during labour. We were provided with birthing
stool. All the learning from the Antenatal classes came in handy. How to
breathe, how to use the birthing stool, what other gentle exercise can be done
to manage all the pain. I can definitely say that it was a very exhausting
experience for Ashitha. All I could do by being on her side was be a good moral
support. Partners do not have this easy. Its, if not as such a painful
experience what the wife is going through, it’s definitely demanding
experience. We had midwife Niahm, Emily
and Sheeba with us in the room. Midwife Sheeba was in charge. I can picture her
to a football coach, yelling out loud and clear with instructions and
directions to the players. That’s exactly what she did, and she was bloody good
at doing that the four hours we were in the room. The baby’s heart rate and
Wife’s BP was checked every fifteen minutes. The duty consultant of the day
walked into the room and left the room at the same pave he came in after going
through the report. Apparently, his expertise is not required when things are
going by the book. At twenty to Three, finally we could all see the crowning
moment. A very hairy crown at that. My eye swelled up, while there was lot of
screaming going on in the room. Not much by Ashitha, but by the midwife. I must
admit, she outperformed at that situation beyond my wildest expectation. Few
minutes later the head showed up, then later at nine minutes to four on a
beautiful Friday, there she was. My precious! Our precious! The midwives were
laughing at me, since I was the only one crying in the room with joy and
Ashitha was exuding confidence after the harrowing experience.
The little one was covered in goo! She looked tired as well
like the mother. With the cord still connected she rested on mom for a while.
It was an “aaaawwwww” moment. Very heart
touching. Mother and daughter looked like they were meant to be together. I
clicked few pictures. I then ran out to break the news to my eagerly awaiting
sister and mother in law. I ran back into the room and I was given the
opportunity to free the baby into the world. The chord was clipped at two ends
and I cut the chord. It was quite a tough one. I had to give it three go’s
before it cut off. The baby was subject to the initial checks . She was weighed
and to all our surprise she was 3950 grams. For an Asian baby that was quite
good. She was seventeen inches tall as well.
I am now the father of a gorgeous little girl. I am above
Mars, over cloud ninety nine. I spread
the news to everyone . after having our cup of coffee and toast we were moved
to the ward. Unfortunately we did not get a private room and we were sent down
to the general ward with six other beds. WE got a nice spot in the corner by
the window where my little one rested in her cradle. We had a lot to learn and
Ashitha was finding the initial few hours really , really hard. The body has
undergone such a large change in few hours and over that the pressure of taking
care of the baby. No one could stick around after half past eight and Ashitha
was all by herself. No one was comfortable with that. I kept texting her all
night along. She was grappling with the concept of feeding the baby. It must
have been a tough night for her. There is nothing much anyone could do.
That night, all I could do was watch the video clips and pictures
I had taken over and over again. I had a dream that I was rushing to work, wearing
a blue shirt. On my way, I kept announcing to everyone that I had a baby girl
and when they asked me the name I said “Gayathri”.
Everyone in the house had their own suggestion for a name
and none of them were in complete agreement with each name. But somehow, the
name Gayathri struck a chord with everyone. To my delight all were in
agreement. My sister, my mother, my dad, Ashitha and her parents were all fine
with that. The name meant a lot in Hindu faith, the name of a Hindu goddess.
The wife of the lord of creation, ‘Brahma’.
Generally the naming ceremony of the baby is very
traditional back home, but now that I am Irish, we are going the Irish way of
naming on the spot. We got her records updated on day two. Ashitha and Gayathri spent another night at
the hospital. After the drugs from day one wore off, Ashitha felt day two even
tougher. WE finally came home on a Sunday. My sister and I had decorated the
home to welcome them back. It was a celebration!!
Ashitha and I were cautioned that after the delivery the
hormone levels in the mum will be all over the place. We did not know what it
meant, but realised that emotions run really high for the next few weeks after
Gayathri arrived. Nothing can prepare anyone for that. Especially partners. The
mother have to deal with a pain of the body putting it back itself together so
time is not easy on the mum as well. It’s very tricky situation, including high
stress. Diplomacy and patience is what everyone needs. I have learned it, but
its part of whole package. The joy of holding Gayathri sure does shrivel every
other incident to a molehill. It was all worth it.
Gayathri is one lucky girl, she got plenty f gifts within the first few weeks. So many so, that in the past month and a half she hasn't tried them all.
Now all I do is eagerly is watch Gayathri grow, recognize me
and give me that million dollar toothless smile.
