Tribute to Monica Bonnie

This must be first time that I am skipping the blog sequence. After that Stag the next major thing in my life is my marriage, but for this once I am going to write something down latest. My good friend Anthony is a DJ as well as a Bodhran player. Its a traditional Irish instrument and he does play it well. I have heard him talk about his teacher; 'Monica Bonnie' for the fact that she was a trend setter in early 70's and that she married an Indian brain surgeon.

She was extremely a down to earth person accepting students from all backgrounds doing her best teaching music. Its unfortunate that Ireland lost her early this year. The students and the DIT college got together and decided to put a tribute performance for her. My good friend reserved a seat for me and there I was all set to experience the first concert. The house was full and then the music began,and what a start it was!! The conductor took everyone to the ambiance instantly with "Carmina Burana ~ O Fortuna". Its the theme music of the 'old spice' after shave ad that aired in India when were kids. hair on the back of my neck stood on ends!.

Awesome is a word that would not describe my experience in totality.Then came the opera singers and god did they sing. Especially the lady singer brought out notes that seemed impossible for a human.

If a wine glass shattered anywhere in the room, I would not be surprised. Harp is a instrument that I have never seen other than in pictures. The first impression of that wonderful instrument will last for a long time in my memory. Even the way its being played is so elegant.The music is heavenly. Imagine four of them being played simultaneously!! What a TREAT!.The Indian goddesses have the "Veena" and the Irish gods have the Harp. That how I see it.I just wish I could touch its strings once.

The Traditional Irish music was put on next, with Banjos, bagpipes, Harps, trumpets, clarinet, Bodhran and everything else. It definitely gets ones' foot tapping. Very unique and very enjoyable to set up a very happy mood. A groovy composition by Carols Santana was performed,it was made all the more interesting because the singer tutored the audience with the lyrics and we all had to sing along with. TO make good music we do not need many instruments is what two very pretty girls proved. with just the Bodhran and a flute they did play an ancient Italian medieval tune which got the crown going. Simple yet fantastic. The grand Finale was that the whole band came together. All ex-pupils and current came down including the good old teachers son who played the drums. .The percussion instruments dominating the ambience, To see so many playing these magnificent instruments was definitely an experience of a life time. I enjoyed the evening very much in company of my friends company. I hope this is one of the first of a long line up of Concerts that I will go to, because for me Music is Divine!

For more pictures: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150476926909540.418934.651679539&type=1&l=2e13c5f5b3

The BIG day

Right; here I am, taking in a long breath. To pen down something that has been the most significant event in my life since birth. I have procrastinated writing this one down since the past one month considering the fact that this post of mine is the most valuable of the lot to me so cannot be done lightly. The memories that I have with this special day in my life does not need technology to hold for me, but it etched in the hard drive of my mind for good. The day which has now become a highlight of the calendar for the rest of my life is the second of November. It’s been three months since I have been in the "Engaged" status, but this is the date when FB status changed to "Married".

Activities at home has been busy like a bee hive to arrange for everything that a typical India wedding deserves, especially with a long guest list;1500 guests long! My job situation did not favour for a long extended leave, but had to make most of the two week break I took. To start with my arrival in Bangalore airport, which was highly unpleasant, is something that I will remember as a lesson learnt experience. "never lose your wallet" is the Lesson. I had spent a good two hour with the airline staff trying to fight my case that one of their staff nicked it from the craft, but then I had to make a call to get on and head to Kerala to the biggest day of my life or debate with the incompetent staff. Might be this is a brand new start for a new wallet. Headed home, with no minutes to spare on rest called up all India and UK banks where I hold account to get my cards blocked. Then after an arduous 12 hour flight, started the part two of the trip; an 9 hour drive from Bangalore to Kasargod. By brother in law did a good job at the wheel. Once I reached my uncle's home the festivities were palpable, spirits running high. Frenzy in the air all nullified my unavoidable fatigue. Go with the flow was the motive! Joined in the folks to clean up the house, began by scrubbing more than 1000 sqft of portico. That was my welcome treat! I enjoy being a part of the act rather than me being under the lime light, taking centre stage. Another news that did make me happy was one of my good friends from Pune was arriving to my native to attend my wedding. That is much appreciated for the fact that it was a 24 hour long train journey. The Day I had to pick her up from the Train station offered more to me, because my fiancée was in the town doing some shopping. It was a good opportunity to meet her and so did I. Her shyness and happiness at seeing me was apparent which is what I craved for. After receiving my friend from the station, found another excuse to rendezvous with her in the pretext of dropping her home. My friend got to meet her as well and it was a pleasant drive back to her home. From a distance I could make out that frantic activity at her place was no less than mine. Masons, Painters, cooks and decorators all working away. Wished her good luck and all the best for the Big day 48 hours away.

BIG day minus one I had nothing much to do, so being the good host that I naturally am planned for a quick visit to the most iconic tourist spot in my district for my good friend, Prajakta and one of my father's long time friend who had come down from Bangalore."Bekkal fort" was an ancient fort built by one of south India's most powerful mogul ruler,Tippu sultan.I have visited the place many times, but this visit did bring me a good smile because the monument has been take care off. Better pavements and accesses made.

Coast guards and security cameras all over made it a much safer spot to visit. My cousins who tagged along made most of it while I was escorting all of them with an umbrella. I had to take care of myself for the BIG day tomorrow. I will break it down henceforth.

Phase 1 The second half of the day is when I got to start with the formalities. I had to pay my respects to my Fathers' and Mothers' ancestral home. They were not far off, and with utmost respect and devotion with a heart full or prayer placed my offerings at both homes. An immense feeling of gratitude towards the gods for taking care of me and my family, yet clueless as to why should I be treated well. My friend was much impressed with the old architecture. While we were at 'Karicheri' home a sudden down pour did insist on us taking a good few minutes well deserved break at that holy place. An opportunity to reflect on my past and how my life will change in the next few hours to spend the rest of it with an endearing person like Ashitha turned to be an unforgettable moment. The evening had swiftly come upon us and the show has to being.

The house all kitted out with lights, a hundred chairs and several tables laid out. Two team of cooks (Veg and non-Veg) assisted by the women of the house in chopping and cleaning. Gates wide open to welcome those guests who could not make it for the wedding the next day. Closer relatives would attend the evening party as well as the next day wedding. Honestly, I knew less than 10% of the guests who arrived since I am a lad brought up in Bangalore, but my parents and uncles had invited all of them.

The children running about, the girls all huddled up gossiping and women at the kitchen and men greeting the guests and being very hospitable to them making sure every one of them had a good meal, all 550 of them! The videographer was buzzing around me like a fly which I had to tolerate since now is the time that I take centre stage and I had paid him to do that. I was asked to sleep early to prepare for the ceremonious day ahead. I have no idea were I went to sleep or at what time, all I remember was being woken up by my parents early enough. I was awaiting three of my best mates from Bangalore. Gave them a warm welcome at half five and showed them around.

Phase 2 I set about the formality of going to a temple with the camera man stalking me. It’s a nearby old temple that I have been to as long as I can remember. After posing for a few pictures with my cousins and friends headed back home to join the family for a quick breakfast. My good friend Revan had offered to gift me with the wedding shirt four years ago for which I was more than happy to accept.

Now came a very sentimental tradition of humbly accepting blessings from my uncles and Aunts. There were times when I choked up with emotions while my parents, dear uncles and aunts were blessings me. This is once a life time event, like a right of passage to the next status in an adult social life. Not to underplay the gifts that I got, all seventeen of them, all of them gold rings! My net value was increasing by the minute as each ring was slipped on to my finger.

The next event on the itinerary was dressing up of the bridegroom. A tradition which I am sure that only begun with the advent of the capturing video footage on weddings. My uncles took pride in buttoning up my shirt and setting my collar right for the momentous occasion set to befall in a few hours.

Phase -3 My little cousins had not done a great job at embellish the car with flowers, but they did do something to mark my car from an ordinary automobile to a bridegroom’s chariot. With an escort of several cars and a bus headed to the wedding hall twenty kilometres away.

At the gates of the auditorium had a sense that the bride’s team had arrived and things were well underway. I was greeted by my father in law and I just stood around welcoming many not so familiar faces and a few well known ones. I was anticipating myself to be nervous, but I was more excited. Talking with my friends who accompanied till the last minute kept the pressure off I guess. The lads signalled to me that the ‘girl’ made a royal entry chaperoned by her aunts and cousins into a packed hall. Next was my turn. No turning back after that!

That is a one way only passage! To make sure that I don’t have a change of heart under the panic situation my brother in law walked me to the dais holding my hand firmly. Being sprayed by scented water by her cousins along the way made sure that nervousness sweat patches don’t stink. I have only seen so many people seated only when I went to watch Jurassic park first day first show on black ticket ages ago! Close family members and few respected elders were on the stage to orchestrate the event.

Sitting by her side on the floor with the full glare of the lights on us would make anyone nervous, but I liked the attention. With a very polite ‘Hello’ settled in quick. She definitely looked the part. Her beauty; magnanimous made me glee with a tinge of pride. The exchange of garlands, tying the sacred knot, gifting of saree and applying the sacred vermilion to her forehead was all done swiftly; BOOM! I am married! The most heart warming moment was when her father took my hands and placed it in hers and held it firmly in a reassuring way to seal the bond for eternity. It signified to me that he has passed on the responsibility of taking care of his gem of a little daughter to me now. Now it was my turn to only take care of her in more better and happier ways than her beloved father. That is a massive yet welcome obligation for me since the past 29 years.

The next event was the photography with the guests; this was one of my least favoured acts. I’d rather walk up to each one of the guests who are seated and meet and greet them, that way I get more action. But standing there as a mannequin with a true plastic smile for a couple of hours was more of retribution for getting married. I must have definitely built up my biceps shaking the hands of well over a thousand people and for the first time I realised that muscles in the face can ache. Smile hurts! Patience ran out after two hours of posing when I was almost about to throw a tantrum to have lunch. My good friends joined me to the food hall where hundreds of our guests were enjoying the feast. My friends teased me into feeding her a sweet and so did she reluctantly reciprocate. Now think of it, glad that I did it.

The last one but event was the emotional one; flood gates were bound to be opened for many. Its time she changed into the saree that I gifted and she walks out with me. In a Hindu wedding it means that she walks out of her home and into mine for good. She is more a part of my family now than her own. This can make any rock hard mother weep and her mom was miles away from being a rock. I encouraged my wife to talk to her parents while her mum was tearfully saying good bye. My father in law on the contrary was more concerned about the new shirt that I ruined because of the stains from the flower garland. After a quick paper work my father drove up the chariot to whisk her away.

Emotions were profound, but on the journey I assured her that she was in safe hands and that’s all it took for the most precious mental image of hers that I souvenir deep in my heart. A smile that speaks volumes all packed in a simple gesture of a humble smile.

Phase 4 - Many of her family members came along to drop her off. This is the final phase. The bride’s guests were treated well with juice, snacks and dry fruits.

She very ceremoniously carried a traditional lamp into the house, exemplifying the fact that she brings new light into the house. As part of the ritual we had to share a glass of milk and a banana which has a lot of message in itself. She made some offering of beetle leaves and nuts to my mother as a “accept me as your daughter” token to her new mother in law. Adorned with blessings from everyone the grand day finally concluded. Bidding good bye to her relatives and family might have been the hardest task or her but on the flip side her parents will be relieved that their daughter has been married off into a happy new home.

Phase 5- The following days were delightful with us as a newly wed couple visiting temples and many close family and relative’s home upon their invite for a wonderful meal. I being a vegetarian did not help the menu in getting more exciting; unfortunately for her. Never have I had so much eat and never have I taken so much effort in finishing it off with content and delight. Ten days flew by like hours, her company being the most delightful. As far as I am concerned she did not walk into the house with a brightly lit lamp to light up the house, she walked into my heart to light up my life.

Phase 6 – Brand new life begins for me and her…. The story continues….